I was sitting in church today, struggling with our extremely active Little C. As the sacrament was being passed I thought about how I used to enjoy reflecting on my week during this time, thinking about what went well, and what I could improve upon. It was always such a peaceful and spiritually renewing part of my week. Now, in order to keep the peace, I am usually searching for numerous ways to keep Little C. distracted and happy so that I can at least stay in the chapel. As I was longing for the time to rerturn when I could focus more on my spiritual growth, I was struck with the thought that this was my mission right now. Loving and enjoying this prescious child of God is most important for me right now, and will ultimately bring me the most spiritual growth. It seems simple and obvious, but I love it when the Spirit brings things into focus for us when our expectations get a little off the mark. Motherhood is the greatest sacrifice, the most difficult challenge, and the most sweetly rewarding endeavor we could ever undertake in this life. In many ways, the work we do as mothers, as we lovingly and submissively give our lives (through our time, energy, sleep, pursuits, and hearts) for our children, we come closer to emulating the life of our Savior than through anything else we could do. The Savior spent time studying the scriptures, but the bulk of his life and ministry was spent teaching, loving and serving the people. It was a sweet experience today to be reminded of this fact and rather than feel guilty that I couldn't sit quietly and focus completely on the speakers or ponder the feelings and thoughts of the spirit, I held my baby and thanked Heavenly Father for the opportunity to be a mother and be taught a little more about what it means to loose myself in the service of others.
