Blessing Day

We blessed our beautiful C. Bear in church today. It was a wonderful experience. The dress she wore was my great-grandmother's blessing dress. Little C. was able to wear this dress on her blessing day too and it was so neat. Events like baby blessings and baptisms always seem to heighten my knowledge of the importance of family. It makes it even more poignant to have my babies wear this link to past generations of my family.

I always worry that my baby will be good and not cry during the blessing. C. Bear slept for most of the meeting, but when Doug took her to go up to the front of the chapel for the blessing she woke up.  I was a little nervous, but the neatest thing happened. The entire time Doug gave the blessing she just stared at him with a huge, beautiful grin on her face. Doug said it was an amazing experience. It was as if she was connected to him, and on some level understood what he was saying and was feeling and recognizing the spirit that was present. She was perfect the rest of the meeting and there was an incredible spirit the rest of the day. We were blessed to be able to share it with our wonderful family and friends.

I am so thankful God gave us families. My family is truly the most important thing on earth to me. I am grateful for the glimpses into Heaven I get through my experiences with them.

He Lives All Blessings to Impart

I Know That My Redeemer Lives

Text: Samuel Medley

 I know that my Redeemer lives.

What comfort this sweet sentence gives!

He lives, he lives, who once was dead.

He lives, my ever-living Head.

He lives to bless me with his love.

He lives to plead for me above.

He lives my hungry soul to feed.

He lives to bless in time of need.

He lives to grant me rich supply.

He lives to guide me with his eye.

He lives to comfort me when faint.

He lives to hear my soul’s complaint.

He lives to silence all my fears.

He lives to wipe away my tears.

He lives to calm my troubled heart.

He lives all blessings to impart.

He lives, my kind, wise heav’nly Friend.

He lives and loves me to the end.

He lives, and while he lives, I’ll sing.

He lives, my Prophet, Priest, and King.

He lives and grants me daily breath.

He lives, and I shall conquer death.

He lives my mansion to prepare.

He lives to bring me safely there.

He lives! All glory to his name!

He lives, my Savior, still the same.

Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives:

“I know that my Redeemer lives!”

He lives! All glory to his name!

He lives, my Savior, still the same.

Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives:

“I know that my Redeemer lives!”

I love this song! Today was my first day back to church since C. Bear was born, and we sang this for our closing Hymn.  I couldn't keep the tears from flowing as I contemplated the truth of these words. All Jesus has ever done, and ever will do, He does to bless me and each one of us.  So often I get caught up in the things that are going wrong in my life, and wonder why He is withholding His blessings from me, but "He lives to bless in time of need".  If I am experiencing challenges in my life it is because of one of two things, either I do not have the faith to receive the blessings He is so ready to give to me, or this thing that seems like such a trial is really here to bless my life.  Either way, it takes an increase of faith to go through the storms of life, trusting that the Lord will provide all that we need.  I am so grateful for my knowledge of a living Savior who is there to hear and answer my prayers whether I am complaining, or praising; who grants me not only my daily breath, but grants me patience and peace and even all the little things I ask Him for; who has not only provided a plan for me to return to Him again, but who will help me daily along the path as I try to follow that plan; who is not only my greatest friend, but who loves me to the end, even though he knows me perfectly, including all of my many faults and imperfections.  I know that He lives to bless me with His love.  I hope that I can always remember that and have the faith to do as He pleads with us to do in Doctrine and Covenants 6:36 “Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not.” 

Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives:

“I know that my Redeemer lives!”

Easter Thoughts

I am home from church today with C. Bear and wanted to add some spirituality to my day, so I was reading this month's Ensign.  Since Easter is this month, much of this issue is on the atonement, crucifixion, and resurrection of the Savior.  One of the talks I read referred me to Elder Holland's talk from last April's General Conference.  It is one of the most beautiful talks on this subject I have ever heard.  I highly recommend reading the entire talk, especially in preparation for this Easter week, but here is a wonderful video of a portion of the talk .



It is impossible for man to fully comprehend the magnitude of the gift that the Savior has offered to each one of us, but as we use the blessing of the atonement more readily in our lives we will see more clearly the love and peace He is waiting to bless us with if we will but turn to Him.  I hope that in return for this matchless gift I can always answer the challenge presented by Elder Ballard:  "As we approach this holy week—Passover Thursday with its Paschal Lamb, atoning Friday with its cross, Resurrection Sunday with its empty tomb—may we declare ourselves to be more fully disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ, not in word only and not only in the flush of comfortable times but in deed and in courage and in faith, including when the path is lonely and when our cross is difficult to bear. This Easter week and always, may we stand by Jesus Christ “at all times and in all things, and in all places that [we] may be in, even until death, for surely that is how He stood by us when it was unto death and when He had to stand entirely and utterly alone. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen."

Gratitude

 Doctrine and Covenants 59:21 And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments.

I typically find it easy to recognize and acknowledge the Lord's hand in my life, but somehow whenever I am pregnant and my due date approaches, or passes by unheeded, my "woe is me" attitude kicks into hyperdrive.  I assume that many of us tend to have times in our lives when everything seems to be going wrong and we start to wonder what we've done to "deserve" this.  I have to admit that I have been feeling this way for the past week or so.  I could (and usually would) choose to look at my life and be grateful that my husband has a job that brings in enough income to provide for our needs and allows me to stay home with our children, that I have family (namely my brother) kind and generous enough to donate 2 months of daily work to building our basement, that I have had a healthy pregnancy so far with not much more than the common discomforts that naturally accompany it, etc.  Instead, for the past week or so I have too often chosen to dwell on the fact that my husband was supposed to get a raise a year ago that still hasn't materialized, that our basement was supposed to be finished a month ago, but realistically won't be for at least another month, that I am one day passed my due date and am begrudging all the women that I know who have never delivered their babies later than a week or more before their due dates, etc.  

I was feeling really sorry for myself yesterday (my "due date") as I headed into church to face the many sympathetic comments like "Oh, I'm sorry you're still here." or, "Isn't your due date really soon?" I especially felt cheated when someone shared in "The Good News Minute" that a woman in the neighborhood, who's due date wasn't for 3 more weeks, had her baby on Friday.  I almost wished I would have stayed home for all of church with my sick and ornery 2 year old, instead of trading off with my husband so we could both attend some of our Sunday meetings.  Luckily we had a great lesson which brought the spirit to soften my heart, and then Heavenly Father allowed my softened heart to be humbled a little more by prompting a friend of mine to share with us that she found out last week that she has cancer.  Despite this terrifying news she bore her testimony of how blessed she is and how much she has seen and felt Heavenly Fathers love and peace in her life over the past week.  There is nothing like seeing the problems of others to put our own shallow worries in their place.  I came home with a greater resolve to look at the good in my life, and accept the challenges that Heavenly Father allows me to face with more gratitude and humility.

President Monson gave a wonderful talk on gratitude in the October 2008 LDS General Conference that  helps remind me what is truly important in life, and how truly blessed I am.  In it he quoted Sarah Ban Breathnach saying, "Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend … when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present—love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature, and personal pursuits that bring us [happiness]—the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience heaven on earth.”  This is such a beautiful truth.  No matter who we are, or what our circumstances may be, we can find numerous blessings in our lives, or numerous problems, it depends on what we choose to focus on.  

So tonight as I try to sleep with my aching back, and when I wake up once again at 2:00am with unbearable heart-burn, I will try to focus instead on the fact that I have a warm house and a soft matress to sleep on, and that I have a loving and supportive husband next to me who will do all that he can to help me and provide for me and our family, that God loves me enough to bless me with the four amazing children we have and another child that will inevitably arrive any day, and that most of all he has provided a way for all of us to be together with him for eternity, if we but choose to follow Him and endure well to the end.

Come Listen to a Prophet's Voice

This weekend was the 179th semi-annual conference for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We got to spend 10 hours (counting last Saturday's session for the women, and this Saturday's session for the men), being spiritually fed by the leaders of our church. Conference Weekend is always something that I look forward to with anticipation and am sad to see it end. This weekend was no exception. I don't have much time to expound right now, but I just wanted to share a few of my thoughts from this Conference.

There were two over-arching messages that I took from this Conference. The first was the importance of personal revelation from the Lord in our lives. So many of the messages seemed to emphasize our need to learn to receive and rely upon insight from the Holy Ghost. Heavenly Father has given us a marvelous gift to allow us to know His will for us in our lives, and to ultimately help us to return to Him someday. It is vital that we learn how to use it to guide us through our earthly journey. The second main message I left with was the necessity of teaching our children. We can't leave anything to chance in the raising of our children, if we want them to be able to grow up faithful in this increasingly troubled world. The talk by Elder Christofferson in Sunday afternoon's session was one of my favorites. In it he warned us of the need to provide constant daily spiritual experiences for our children. He cautioned that "the adversary is not neutral in his approach with our children" so we can not afford to be neutral in our teachings of our children.

I also thoroughly loved President Thomas S. Monson's Sunday Morning talk. It was all about service. The main message of the Savior's earthly ministry was of love and service. If we are to be true disciples of Him, we must learn to love and serve our fellow-men. Service and love seem to be the legacy of President Monson's life as well. I feel a renewed desire to find ways to serve others around me more often and to help my children to do so as well.

I love conference. I love the opportunity it gives me to gain insight into the areas I need to improve on in my life right now. I love that the "main messages" others received from this conference will be different that what I received because of what the Spirit emphasizes to each of us as the most important things for us to learn and do to help us become what we need to be right now. I love that Heavenly Father still loves and speaks to us and has provided a Prophet to lead His children today as He did in the past. I love the peace and hope I feel as I hear the words of the Lord's chosen servants. I can't wait to re-read and ponder all that was said this weekend. Until then, if you want to listen to it, you can go here.

Joy in the Journey

I was sitting in church today, struggling with our extremely active Little C.  As the sacrament was being passed I thought about how I used to enjoy reflecting on my week during this time, thinking about what went well, and what I could improve upon.  It was always such a peaceful and spiritually renewing part of my week.  Now, in order to keep the peace, I am usually searching for numerous ways to keep Little C. distracted and happy so that I can at least stay in the chapel.  As I was longing for the time to rerturn when I could focus more on my spiritual growth, I was struck with the thought that this was my mission right now.  Loving and enjoying this prescious child of God is most important for me right now, and will ultimately bring me the most spiritual growth.  It seems simple and obvious, but I love it when the Spirit brings things into focus for us when our expectations get a little off the mark.  Motherhood is the greatest sacrifice, the most difficult challenge, and the most sweetly rewarding endeavor we could ever undertake in this life.  In many ways, the work we do as mothers, as we lovingly and submissively give our lives (through our time, energy, sleep, pursuits, and hearts) for our children, we come closer to emulating the life of our Savior than through anything else we could do.  The Savior spent time studying the scriptures, but the bulk of his life and ministry was spent teaching, loving and serving the people.  It was a sweet experience today to be reminded of this fact and rather than feel guilty that I couldn't sit quietly and focus completely on the speakers or ponder the feelings and thoughts of the spirit, I held my baby and thanked Heavenly Father for the opportunity to be a mother and be taught a little more about what it means to loose myself in the service of others.

Tender Mercies

It is beautiful the way the Lord shows us His love and mercy in our lives.  It is usually not through any miraculous event, but when it happens, and we notice it, it can be just as powerful. I have had several experiences lately that have let me feel the hand of the Lord in my life and I have been wanting to write about them, but just haven't gotten around to it.  I had some free time this morning, a rare and beautiful thing in and of itself, so I thought I would try to record my thoughts.

The first thing that happened really set the tone for the events that follow.  I would say that it prepared my heart to receive what the Lord needed to teach me.  Two weeks ago we had the marvelous blessing of having President Henry B. Eyring attend our Stake Conference!  He attended all of our meetings on both Saturday and Sunday.  The amazing thing about it is that he told us that members of the First Presidency never attend Stake Conferences.  They are just too busy, but he said that he felt prompted that he needed to attend a Stake Conference and that ours was the one he should attend.  How lucky was that?!  The entire Conference was wonderful, but there was one story that he told that really affected me and has changed the way that I look at life.  He told of a time when he was the President of Ricks college and he and his wife had left their three kids at home with a babysitter while they attended the Idaho Falls temple.  As they were leaving the temple the Temple President's wife told them that the Teton Dam had collapsed.  Their town lay directly in the path of the rushing water.  They were unable to get home to their children and unable to even call and find out if they were o.k..  He said that his wife was worried sick and watching the news to try to find any information she could.  He told her that he was going to bed.  She looked at him incredulously.  She asked how he could sleep at a time like that?!  He told her their children would be all right.  He said that he didn't know if they were alive or not, but they were good children, and their youngest wasn't even 8 yet so they would be all right one way or another.  What amazing faith!  It is one thing to have faith in the assurance that Heavenly Father would protect them from harm, but to have such a clear eternal perspective that you could be comforted by the assurance that He will protect them in life or death is quite another thing.  It caused me to do some soul searching about whether I had that kind of faith and perspective.  I think the answer was no.  But Heavenly Father has a way of waking us up and then gently teaching us the way to turn our lives and hearts over to Him.

The very next week I started (o.k., continued) worrying about the current economic state of our Country.  We have been doing our best to be prepared financially and physically, but we aren't quite where I would like us to be yet, and with a possible complete economic collapse, who knows if anything would really be enough.  The future seemed so uncertain and a little (all right, a lot) scary to me.  One morning I asked my husband how he could manage to not be stressed out all the time worrying about what may lie ahead.  He said he realizes that God is in control and whatever happens is what is meant to be, even if that means that we loose everything we have.  That was what I have always said I believe, but at that moment it seemed too scary to really trust like that.  As we started school that morning we were following our daily routine of memorizing one of the New Testament scripture mastery scriptures, followed by a story from the "New Testament Stories" book.  That day's story happened to be about when Jesus called His apostles.  As we read about how Peter and his friends had been unable to catch any fish all night, but when Jesus told them where to go they filled three boats full to overflowing I began to cry.  I realized that it is true that God can give us everything we need, but the next part of the story is the real lesson.  After providing them with enough fish, therefore money, to probably provide for them and their families for a very long time, Jesus asks them to leave everything they have and follow Him.  The kids and I had a wonderful discussion about the fact that Heavenly Father has the power to give us everything we need, but money and things are not really what we need.  This life only matters in that it is how we prepare for the next.  What matters most is that we follow Him and have faith in His wisdom and love for us.  The spirit was so strong as it bore witness to each of us of the truth of these things.  I was so grateful for this experience and for the fact that we are homeschooling so that we are able to have experiences like this together!  What a blessing!  

I thought my faith was pretty buoyed up, but apparently Heavenly Father was wanting me to turn everything over to Him, and I haven't done that yet.  Last weekend I was feeling pretty stressed and worried about being able to do everything that is required of me right now.  This is a common theme in my list of worries, but I was feeling pretty overwhelmed last week.  I am teaching 12 piano students this year and a "Mini Music" class of 4-6 kindergartners.  I am also our ward Young Women's President and, of course, I home school my three children, with a rambunctious toddler in tow.  I was beginning to feel like there was no way I could continue to do everything that has been asked of me and do it well.  I felt like we were really slacking in our school efforts, the house is always a mess and I never feel like I am devoting enough time to my calling.  On Friday I was telling my husband that I didn't know how I could keep it up.  Saturday we went for a bike ride with our team and I had a chance to talk to my friend and fellow-homeschooler about how overwhelmed I felt.  Talking to her helped me to realize that I'm not alone, but I still didn't know how I could possibly keep doing it all.  Saturday night was our General Relief Society Meeting and I was so excited to attend.  All of the talks were wonderful and I received so many answers to the things I had been struggling with, but President Uchtdorf's talk is where the spirit really took over.  He started by telling the cutest story about the difference between men and women illustrated by examples of how he and his wife cook.  If you missed his talk you really need to read it!  It was so sweet and funny.  He immediately followed this story by these words, "Today I would like to speak to those who have ever felt inadequate, discouraged, or weary—in short, I would like to speak to all of us.

I also pray that the Holy Ghost will amplify my words and bestow upon them additional meaning, insight, and inspiration.

We know that sometimes it can be difficult to keep our heads above water. In fact, in our world of change, challenges, and checklists, sometimes it can seem nearly impossible to avoid feeling overwhelmed by emotions of suffering and sorrow."

I went from laughing at his story to sobbing in a matter of seconds.  And the spirit did bestow upon me additional meaning, insight, and inspiration.  In my notes from the meeting I wrote these thoughts. "I can do what heavenly father has called me to do because he will help me and provide the way.  He has called me to home school my children so he will show me how to do it the way my children need me to.

Find out what heavenly father wants me to do most and have faith that he will show me the way to accomplish it.

Don't let fear of failure discourage you."  

I thought that these ideas were touched on in the talks, but as I went over the transcripts later I realized that they weren't really.  I love the way the spirit works when we have "ears to hear". 

Hopefully these lessons in faith have stuck and I can move forward with a more eternal perspective in life and with less fear.  I am so grateful for how much the Lord loves me and each one of us, and how he patiently works to mold us into the person he knows we can become.  I hope that I can always be humble and submissive enough to let Him.

Doers of the Word

I have been thinking lately about how difficult it is sometimes to “live our religion.”  At times it is easy to feel like we know so much about what it means to be Christ-like, but if you ask yourself if you are really living a Christ-like life, or more to the point, am I living as Christ would live, the answer is almost always no.  At least it is for me.  I have had a scripture running through my head for the past couple of days and decided to look it up today and read it in context.  I was really surprised by what I found.  The part I had going through my head was this, “Be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only.”  I think that is how I usually hear it, but when I looked it up today there was more to the verse and I found it very revealing.  

It is in James 1:22

22 But be ye ^adoers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.

  

Sometimes I think it is easy to be deceived by what we think we know.  But knowing and doing are two separate things.  It isn’t enough to study the scriptures, and go to church.  Those are necessary and important things, but those are only the means to an end, not the end in and of them selves.  They are some of the tools we need to use to gain the direction of the spirit which will, if we let it, lead us to the things we need to do to become more like Christ.  The rest of the first chapter of James was also very good and insightful.

23 For if any be a ^ahearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a ^bglass:

 24 For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was.

This is so beautiful.  I love the imagery of “the word” revealing our natural face.  When we see with “our spiritual eyes” we are able to see our true selves, the self that God sees when he looks at us.  That self is one with matchless potential, for we are His children.  As C.S. Lewis said, “we are Gods in embryo.”  There is such power in that view.  How sad to catch that glimpse, and then go our separate way and “forget what manner of man” we were.  I think that Heavenly Father is constantly trying to give us those glimpses of our true selves, and for that matter the true nature of everyone and everything around us.  But when we allow ourselves to become too busy and too distracted we loose the sustaining power of the spirit and we forget what we have seen.  Much of the answer to this problem lies in verse 25: 

25 But whoso looketh into the perfect ^alaw of ^bliberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed.

Again, this is so awesome.  I think that often the spirit touches us and gives us those glimpses of our true selves by telling us what we could be doing better.  We get those “pin pricks” to our soul that remind us where we have gone astray.  When we have those experiences we have two choices.  We can either “be a forgetful hearer” and continue in the comfort of our well-worn paths, or we can be “a doer of the work” and get to work to make the changes in our lives that we see are necessary.  The promise here is that if we take the harder road, we “shall be blessed in ‘our’ deed.”  We will be given the strength we need to do the things we have been prompted to do, but first we have to take the leap of faith and do it.  We have to be willing to get outside of our comfort zone and change.  No matter where we are in our lives, no matter how “good” or “bad” we feel we are, none of us is perfect, so we should all constantly be working to improve some aspect of our lives.  The last two verses are some good ideas to start with: 

  26 If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his ^atongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion is ^bvain.

  27 Pure ^areligion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To ^bvisit the ^cfatherless and ^dwidows in their ^eaffliction, and to keep himself ^funspotted from ^gthe ^hworld.

These are areas I have felt the need to improve in.  I need to look more for the good in others and not find fault.  I worry a lot about my own family, but I know I need to reach out more to those around me who are in need.  I need to seek for, and respond to, opportunities to help others.  I need to remove myself more from the things of this world, and immerse myself more in the things that will have value in the world to come.  As I do these things, hopefully the spirit will add upon what I have been given and I will be able to do even more.  If we give our lives to God, and labor to become who He is trying to help us to become the promise is this:

Hebrews 4:9-11

9 There remaineth therefore a rest to the people of God.

10 For he that is entered into his rest, he also hath ceased from his own works, as God did from his.

11 Let us ^alabour therefore to enter into that rest...

I hope that I can be a doer, and not a hearer only, so that I can someday enter into that rest.

Sunday Scripture Insights

I am home from church today, because Little C. has her first ear infection and is miserable.  I took advantage of her 45 minute nap today, to do some scripture study, and had an awesome experience.  It was one of those days where things that you have read a million times, suddenly hit you in a new way.  The spirit was so strong and I was dying to share my insights with someone, but everyone is still at church.  So naturally I decided to blog about it.  

There were several things that stood out to me today, but I will just share one.  It was in 2 Nephi 26: 25, 30-31:

25 Behold, doth he cry unto any, saying: Depart from me? Behold, I say unto you, Nay; but he saith: ^aCome unto me all ye ^bends of the earth, ^cbuy milk and honey, without money and without price.

30 ... wherefore, the Lord God hath given a commandment that all men should have ^acharity, which ^bcharity is ^clove. And except they should have charity they were nothing. Wherefore, if they should have charity they would not suffer the laborer in Zion to perish.

31 But the ^alaborer in ^bZion shall labor for Zion; for if they labor for ^cmoney they shall perish.

God is so good!  Like any loving parent, He wants to provide for His children.  He is ready and waiting to give us what we need.  In return for all He blesses us with, He expects us to bless those around us.  The problem is that we get so caught up in the money and things that we forget the true equation.  We know we need to work to get money for food and shelter, etc. so we spend or lives worrying about how to get it.  The problem is that once we start thinking about the money, it’s hard to draw the line.  We forget that God has already promised to bless us with what we need and we just focus on the money.  We become consumed with how to get it, and once we’ve got it we try to figure out ways to get more of it.  The answer to this trap is in verse 31, we are not supposed to be working for money, we are supposed to be working for Zion (for our families, and for others, and especially for “the building up of the Kingdom of God”).  Once we start working for money, we’re trapped and we can’t ever truly draw the line.  We either fall into the trap of not having enough money, so we covet what others have, or we have so much that we are filled with pride about all that we have.  When we focus on the money it’s a lose, lose situation.   Instead, we need to put God first and trust in His ability to provide for us.

Sounds easy, doesn’t it?  This is one of those things that I am sure will be more easier said than done.  I guess it’s another item to add to my list of things to pray for...