Epiphany

So I was cleaning my kitchen today (which looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in a week even though I had cleaned it before I went to bed last night) when all of a sudden I was struck by a sudden and very enlightening thought.  To the average person it will probably be one of those, “duh” ideas, but for me it was an “aha” moment. 

 I love motherhood.  From the time my first child was born ten years ago until today, I have embraced my role as a mother and never once wished I could go back to work.  I honestly find my greatest fulfillment and joy through my role as a wife and mother.  There is one thing that has always been a weak spot in my life as a stay-at-home-mom though.  I am not a very good “homemaker”.  I have always struggled at being organized.  I have struggled even more with this since Little C. was born.  I have felt like my life has consisted of either cleaning up disasters or trying to keep Little C. from making a new one for the last 11 months.  The boys are great helpers and clean up daily, but they make as many messes as they clean up, so it kind of cancels itself out.  Even though I am not very good at keeping my house spotless, I tend to get stressed out when it is not.  Needless to say, I have been stressed far too often lately.

Back to my epiphany...  So, while I was cleaning this afternoon and feeling overwhelmed at the thought of trying to get everything straightened up before my 3:15 piano lessons, this thought suddenly struck me.  “This is your life.  You can either embrace it and be happy, or you can fight against it and be stressed all of the time.”  I realized that this was so true.  Rather than worrying and feeling frustrated that I have to clean so much and so often, I need to just accept that this is how things are going to be for a while in my life and just enjoy the journey.  It was a wonderfully empowering thought.  

I was reminded of a talk that I heard a couple of years ago, but I can’t recall who it was by.  The point of his talk was that we talk so much of enduring to the end, but as it says in Doctrine and Covenants 121:8, the point is not just to endure, but to endure well.  “And then, if thou ^aendure it well, God shall exalt thee on high...” I like this thought by Elder Neil A. Maxwell on the subject.  He said, “Without patient and meek endurance we will learn less, see less, feel less, and hear less. We who are egocentric and impatient shut down so much of our receiving capacity.”  If we fight against the things we are called to do, and complain about them along the way, we impede our progress.  If we can do the difficult things in life with a cheerful heart God will be so much more able to bless us.  This may seem like a trivial thing, but I believe that God tries us as much in the small day to day things of life as in the the big things.  If we can learn to “endure well”  through the daily trials, we will be better prepared when the bigger ones come.  

I hope that I can keep this perspective in mind as I go through my day.  I hope that when my children are grown their memories will be of a happy mom who enjoyed her time with them and made our home a haven of peace, rather than one who was stressed out all of the time, worrying about getting things done.